We all hold onto that one person. The one that (we think)
was perfect. She is the one that we still think about today – the one that
crosses our minds in moments when we least expect it. We wonder if she still
thinks about us. When we think about her, those feelings of “what if” and “why”
resurface. Of course we still wonder if he still thinks about us – if she still
remembers how good we had it. And even if we try to hide it, she is the one
that we still picture in our fantasized future, flawless and unscathed.
She is the one that got away.
Now that she’s gone, we wonder
how we could have let her go. Why did we let her go…what were we thinking?
The “could’ves” and “should’ves” eat away at us and our thoughts begin to move
in circles. Could we have fought harder? Should we have stayed together? Why
didn’t we realize what we had when we still had it? As we go down this road, we
start to wonder – should we reach out again? Maybe he was worth fighting for.
We romanticize her because
we cared for her in a way that we hadn’t cared for someone before. We
romanticize her because we are only remembering the good parts – the butterflies,
late night chats and phone calls. We remember what we fell for and how our
hearts felt.
But we don’t like to remind
ourselves of the reasons why things didn’t work out.
We try not to remember all
of the things that could’ve been better, and all of the ways that we weren’t
meant for each other. We brush these realizations aside because these are more
painful. These don’t bring us back to that same warm and safe place. Instead we
just focus on the good times. We forget about the way our connection slowly
died. We forget about the way she closed herself off, little by little, then
all at once. We forget about the ways we became distant, and the ways our lives
began to split into our own separate paths
.
Whether we think about the good
times, or we think about the broken times, nothing changes in the story.
Whether you let her go, or she
let you go, she still got away. No matter how it ended, something changed or
something was missing. Something happened. Maybe you truly felt like she was
perfect for you. Maybe you still loved her long after it ended. But you have to
remember the truth and the facts. There was something that got in the way –
something that was stronger than the relationship. Something just wasn’t meant
to be.
You see, she’s the one that got
away for a reason. she was never here to stay.
No matter what, she was never
going to be “the one.” If she was really meant to be in your life, she would
be. As simple as that. she wouldn’t be the one that got away – she would be the
one that stayed. she wouldn’t be the one in the past, she would be the one in
the now. Whether she left you or you left her, whether the timing just was
never right, or whether one of you fell for someone else, she still left. Or
you still left. Whether she fought for you or whether she walked away, she
still stopped fighting. Or maybe you stopped fighting. But either way, she
still got away.
This doesn’t mean that you
can’t still think about her, or that you can’t love the parts of her that
changed you. This doesn’t mean that you need to forget about her – she became a
part of who you are today. This doesn’t mean that she didn’t love or that
you shouldn’t have been together. You don’t need to be torn up by regret.
But it does mean that you
can release your sadness and relieve your regrets. In the moment, the situation
was perfect for you. But now you are in a new moment. Now you are in a new
stage. And she is no longer for you. she wasn’t the one for you.
You see the one for you is still out there.
Let yourself remember the one that got away, let yourself
think about her. But understand that you don’t need to delve back into the past
– you don’t need to try to do it all over again. she got away for a reason. You
don’t need to pine for her or wait for her to come around again. she got away
because she isn’t your forever girl.
Wait for the one that is.
Wait for the one that stays
